Dustin’s Journey
I sat in the back seat of an SUV with two big Samoan transport agents up front. Staring out the window at the snow-covered mountains, I tried not to think of what I was leaving behind. I felt trapped in a vicious cycle of negativity and was afraid things would never get better. The substance use and fights with my parents were taking over. But, at this particular moment, I was leaving that world behind.
It was three in the morning and the snow was falling as we drove the winding back roads of somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. I didn’t know exactly where I was headed or what was in store, but it didn’t matter to me because all I really wanted at the time was to escape the world I left behind. I was stuck on an emotional rollercoaster, searching for acceptance, unable to find peace.
I was tired. Ready for a fresh start. I felt a sense of relief and the anticipation of an unknown destination. It excited my 16-year-old self. The only information I was told was that I was headed to a wilderness camp somewhere in Utah. Looking back now, I have to laugh at what I was expecting.
Turn-About ranch
The next morning approached in a hurry, and I found myself sitting inside a teepee cooking breakfast over a self-made fire. Nope, this wasn’t the fun summer camp I had expected. Instead, I found myself at a wilderness rehabilitation program called Turn-About Ranch. I was pissed off. I couldn’t believe my parents had sent me to a place like this without telling me the truth.
I may have left home, but my anger and edge followed me. I didn’t care who you were, I was going to speak my mind and do whatever I wanted. Well, that didn’t work out so well at TAR. And I was starting to realize how my choices were affecting my life, and others in my life. Whenever I broke a rule or disrespected a staff member, I would find myself in a teepee away from the other students and staff. It gave me time to really think about what I had done wrong, and what I could have done to prevent the situation in the first place. Strange as it may seem, it was in that quiet teepee that I feel I grew the most.
With every challenge I overcame at TAR, I felt stronger and more capable. I learned how to ride and take care of a horse, how to cook, and the importance of time management and routine. Above all, I was learning how to take charge and become a leader, something that has helped me on multiple occasions since.
Looking back, I am forever grateful and could not thank my parents enough for taking a leap of faith and trusting in God on that winter night.
transition
It was time to return home. I was a changed man and much more confident about life and what the future held, but I was also very nervous about returning home to friends and family and whatever life was going to throw at me. What if I fall back into my old ways? What if I relapsed? What will people think of me? My parents were also really worried about the transition. And as a result, had decided to get the support of a transition coach from Homeward Bound.
Despite my fears, I had mixed feelings about working with Homeward Bound. Mostly, I was a annoyed that my parents didn’t seem to trust that I had truly changed. I didn’t believe I needed any more help after going through TAR. I thought I could handle it on my own.
I remember our transition coach coming to our home shortly after I returned home. I quickly realized that our coach wasn’t there to tell me what to do or make the rules for our family. Rather, he was there to make the transition easier and help us all through the challenges ahead.
One of the things our coach encouraged was for us to invite some friends and family over to our home so I could tell them about my experience at TAR. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t too excited. In fact, if it had been up to me, I would have passed on that idea. I felt awkward and embarrassed about being sent away and I didn’t like the idea of sharing that experience with all those people. Still, we decided to go ahead with it. Thankfully they were all so encouraging and supportive. It felt really good to be recognized for the hard work and growth I had accomplished at TAR. In the end, I realized how it actually lifted a burden off my back. It wasn’t until much later that I realized it was the burden of shame.
homeward bound
Over the next few months, I was able to more completely mend and repair my relationship with my parents. There was still a lot of trust to regain, but with the help of my transition coach, my parents and I were able to discuss and work through the challenges that came up. My conversations with my transition coach helped me immensely. He was there to listen and then help me think through how to move forward. Sometimes I wonder how my return home would have turned out without Homeward Bound. Fortunately, for me, I’ll never know.
Where I am now
Since returning home and now (2022) a lot has happened. I attended school at Indiana University and later transferred to Florida Gulf Coast University. I’ve gone on several trips with family and friends including places such as Colorado, Vermont, Florida, and even Cuba. I am currently living back home in Indiana and finishing up school at IUPUI. A year ago I started working for my Dad’s company, SoloCreative, which is an advertising agency. I have been leading the drone division of his company, and recently just launched a website that showcases our work over the past several years. I’ve had a sustainable relationship with my family and we’ve spent lots of quality time together. Overall, life has been good and I’m excited to see what the future holds.
